I'm thankful for my friends; I can't help but be grateful for the people who have become a family to me. For the people who really care about my heart and if it's damaged or broken or in pain. We have a relationship that's become much deeper than a group of young people should have. Were more than "I miss you." and "I love you." There is much more behind those statements. History and a lot of emotions. I'm thankful for the people I can unabashedly be myself with, who I can say the most vulgar and fucked up things to and we all are in hysterics. The people who I have genuine moments of compassion with, the people who send me a text or a phone call at just the right time, the people who see that I'm hurting and I need help when I don't want to admit I do. The people who I have lived through the strangest, most embarrassing, awkward, and amazing moments with, many things that we can't believe we've done. We give to each other when we need it, without thinking of what we can get in return. We truly care about each other. We get each other. We take care of each other. We've seen each other grow and change and continue to love each other. We accept each other for everything that we are. I couldn't be happier to know a group of people who genuinely care about each other's pasts and futures and problems and souls.
I'm thankful for my parents for letting me be who I am. For dealing with me when I think I'm smarter than them and I don't want to listen to them. For helping me with my problems and my emotions in the best way that they can. I know I'm not the easiest child to have and I am carrying a bucket-load of issues, but they are consistently supporting me and I couldn't be more grateful. (And I don't think any child thinks they've been easy to raise..) I'm thankful for them accepting me, and giving me so much freedom to figure things out.
I'm thankful for the moments that have challenged me. I know that there are holes and there is emptiness and I'm thankful for still wanting to try to fill it. I'm thankful I still believe I can find the things that are missing. That I can fix the things that are broken. For not letting moments that should be detrimental ruin me, or kill something good in me. For never forgetting about my dreams. I'm thankful that I still care about being a person who I like, that I still care about who I am and who I'm becoming.
I'm thankful for Manhattan. The place that makes me feel better than I could ever explain, just by being there. By sitting in a park, or waking up to the view of the apartment buildings across the street, or going to the East River. Or just walking down the street. I could live in a box there and I'd still just be grateful that I lived there. It has beaten me up a bit over the past year and a half, but I still love it endlessly. It makes me happier than I even understand.
I'm thankful for writing, for being there when I need it. For keeping me sane and giving me strength and giving me purpose. It is everything to me. It makes me feel whole.
I'm thankful for hope and for love. Because when you strip down everything in your life, that's all you really have left. They are what rule the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment