We all have our scars.

               We have scars on our hearts, scars on our souls, scars on our bodies. We can all relate to each other because of what we've been through; because we've felt pain. Although we've all dealt with our pain in different ways, it was still there, and we still had to deal with it in one way or another.

               We don't want to be defined by the negative parts of ourselves. We don't want people to only remember that about us. We have allowed and allow ourselves to deal with constant pain, but as long as it doesn't change or ruin our relationships or reputation; we think we're fine. Even though we know that others go through pain, we can't bear for them to see ours. Sometimes people forget that they've experienced pain. They think they're better than you because they haven't felt the depth of what you have, because they're "stronger" than you are. When in reality, trying to go through life unscathed is how you become the most emotionally weak. I can't respect anyone who makes another person feel lesser for what they've been through. I don't know why it's so hard for certain people to stop being so judgmental or disrespectful when their scars undoubtedly exist.

              Don't be ashamed of what you've been through. I know this might be a hard thing to realize, but pain can be a very good thing for a person. The absolute worst things that have occurred in my life have taught me the most. The most emotional anguish I’ve felt has led to some of the best feelings and experiences I’ve ever had. These things have helped me understand myself, others, and life in a way that I never would have been able to without that pain. Pain humbles you, it makes you want to understand people and reach out to them-which is such an immensely important quality to develop. It helps you face your fears, and can make you feel invincible after getting through it. Something dreadfully horrible can happen to you, but guess what? You're still breathing. You're going to be okay. The bad things make you realize how beautiful life really is. They make you realize that nothing is ever the end of the world. You can always have a clean slate. You can always find a new school, find a new job, meet new people, and have new experiences. Sometimes we forget that the possibilities life has to offer are always endless; pain is what can make you remember. It allows you to see the big picture, and it allows you to realize what is genuinely important to you.

              But some experiences are going to be harder to get past. Some scars will influence us every day for a long time, maybe even for the rest of our lives. Our scars can make us feel psychotic, lower our self-esteem, or make us feel like it's impossible for us to be happy. They make us think that we aren't capable; that were too messed up to ever be able to do anything of value. We'd like to be proud of what we've been through, but sometimes it's hard to get to that point. Sometimes the "getting over it" part takes more time than we'd like. Being resilient isn't always easy, but you have to make it a habit; you have to allow yourself to pick up the pieces again. Time passes, and although the hurt isn't guaranteed to go away completely, it will lessen.

             I feel like happiness isn't all it's cracked up to be. Coming from the girl whose life and writing seemingly revolves around the pursuit of happiness, this must sound strange. I've said and thought many times over the past couple of years that "All I want is to be happy.” but that sentence has started it irritate me. It makes it sound like asking for happiness is this simple request, like it's just going to tap you on the shoulder one day and stay in your life forever. Happiness is the seemingly simple concept that is undeniably complex. There are so many factors that lead to it, like who you are as a person, if you allow yourself to be bothered or to be over-joyed by the little things, luck (I didn't want to believe in luck for awhile, but now I think that it's a legitimate thing to think exists again), and how hard you work to get to where you need to be. It unfortunately has less to do with how deserving you are of it and more to do with those factors, along with other things you just can't control. But I'm not trying to discourage you from striving for happiness. Happiness isn't a bad thing, and it isn't an impossible thing either. I just don't want you to strive for a life devoid of pain. I don't want you to shield yourself from the feelings that make you want to take a chance, or okay with making a mistake or being vulnerable. Sometimes it feels like life would be so much better if we could just fast forward through the bad parts, but then what would we learn? When would we ever have a revelation?

             I don't want you to forget what anguish teaches you. Don't ever try to stop yourself from feeling, because your emotions are authentic, and they are yours. Be grateful for what you've been through; you're significant because of it.