The comfort zone.

              Now that it's actually setting in that I'm packing up my life and going to college;the fiber of my brain that makes sure my comfort zone isn't disturbed-is completely fucking with me. I felt something strange today, something unfamiliar and not good. It felt like the passion was being sucked out of me. And it scared me shitless, to be honest. It wasn't even like anything monumental made it happen either, it just set in for me that my entire life is about to become one huge marathon of being out of my comfort zone. It makes me feel weak, robotic, like a pile of nothingness. I thought unhappiness and sadness were feelings that hit you hard. But being afraid of leaving your comfort zone can be just as powerful, it's almost astounding to me how powerful it is. It can make all of these irrational feelings engulf you, making you question everything you thought you cared about. When you're doing something out of your element, it sets off this alarm in your head telling you: "This won't make you happy or fulfilled, run away because you can't handle this", and it does a good job of making you believe that it's true. It can just turn everything upside down. Suddenly the fire can burn out for everything you thought you wanted.
              This might be one of the most difficult feelings a person comes across in their lifetime, and it never crossed my mind how significant it is until today. It's a huge test of how well you know yourself and what you want at your core. It not only challenges your deepest fears, but makes you believe that it isn't even worth trying to step up to challenge them.
              If you're experiencing this now or in the future, the best advice I can give is to try and pull through. Being in over your head can be terrifying, but is also usually the most rewarding. The only way we'll ever have a chance of conquering our fears is by dealing with them, and taking every opportunity we get to face them. You need to take chances. Sometimes you'll have to go through hopeless, uncomfortable, and tough times, to be able to gain incredible feelings you would have never been able to experience otherwise.
             Have faith that you know yourself and what you're capable of. It'll be worth it in the end.