Don't give up.

                Don't get me wrong, I think that life is a beautiful, amazing, unbelievable thing that we all have been given. Being completely ungrateful for it, no matter how horrible of a mindset I get into, is something I could never imagine.
          But life does suck sometimes.
         Things don't go your way once in awhile, (or maybe more than once in awhile). People hurt you, they bring you down, they suck you into their negativity. You give your all to something, and you fail, or worse; you don't even have the chance to fail, because you are too afraid to try. You hurt people. It was never your intention, but it happens. You are pushed to your limits, and you make someone feel just as bad as you have.  We all have bad time periods in our lives, it makes us human; it makes us able to relate to each other. No one is living their life perfectly. More often than not, people are making the exact same mistakes that you are.
          I want you to realize that these faults aren't the end of the world. You are not a horrible person, you are not worthless, you are not a waste. The fact that you feel bad about yourself after snapping at someone, angry with yourself for failing, or fear about how your future is going to turn out, all show a lot about your character. The fact that you do care, means something. It's better than trying to get through this world unscathed, by taking absolutely no risks or chances for yourself.
          High School isn't the end of the world, college isn't the end of the world, 5 years after you graduate isn't the end of the world. I'm not saying that you should waste your life waiting for happiness to come to you, but you can't be angry at yourself for being unable to make a time period something that it wasn't meant to be. If what you are living right now doesn't feel like your reality, then it probably isn't. If it isn't making you happy, it isn't your world. Do not try to make it something more than what your heart truly wants it to be. If you are able to take yourself out of the life you are obligated to live, even for a week, a day, an hour, and feel that happiness is possible for you; then it is. I promise you that it is. Those things that you are obligated to do aren't reflecting yourself. The things that put your passion in a zombie-like state, aren't meant to take over your life. The passion you have for your dreams, and what you believe in, are authentic, that is what represents you wholeheartedly. If you have a passion for anything (and I know somewhere that you do), don't give up on it. Pursue it, fight for it, work for it. Bring it into your mind and your life as often as you possibly can. You can never be disappointed in yourself for trying. This world seems like a hard place to live your dreams in, but you are the only person stopping yourself from being successful. From doing what you know that you are meant to do. You are in control of your life, all you have to do is take it back.
               You can live the life you dream of.