Aren't I supposed to be able to handle this much?

               Unfortunately for me,i'm terrible at it. My mind can't handle so many things at once. Filling out college applications, keeping my grades up, looking for scholarships, looking for a job, trying to get my license, maintaining my relationships. Then dealing with my own personal things like my mentality and anxiety and whatever other negative things occur. While also trying to have time for my vices like music, reading, writing. I'm focused on so many things I don't care about. The more that piles on, the more I pull away.
           I've realized how dependent i've become on sleep recently. It's kind of one of the only things I look forward to besides eating...I know, terrible. I just like being able to focus on simple things. When my life gets to be so confusing and conflicting, is when I start focusing on the things that aren't so complicated. It's like, I can't get yelled at for eating or sleeping. I'm allowed to do these things. This is when I can finally give myself a break. The rest of the time I spend thinking about things I should be doing, don't want to be doing, and wondering what would make me happy. I usually focus on fashion too (Dressing well/shopping), but even shopping gives me anxiety at times. That's when I know my life is going to shit, when I can't walk into a store and simply find something I like enough to buy.
              I'm so tired of thinking. OH MY GOD. I exhaust myself thinking about things that I don't even have control over. I feel like my brain is fizzling inside my head. I don't understand what i'm looking for, to at least be content in my life. I have writing, I have my friends, I have a bunch of other good things. I'm just terrible at ignoring the bad things, because most of them are carried out by living, breathing, things...but everyone goes through bad time periods in life. High School isn't usually thought of as a positive thing. Things will get better for me at some point. I don't plan on letting my life be like this for a long time. I just need change, and that is what college is for. My dad doesn't understand why I want to be in Manhattan, and i'm done trying to explain it to him. The change I need is there, i've been dreaming of myself living there for the past year; and will continue to until I get there.
           I just want to end up where I need to be next year. The end result i'm hoping for when I do anything, is to be happy. Why are young adults expected to be able to handle so much? Can any normal human being deal with so many things they dislike on a daily basis and be happy with their lives?
           At least i'm not giving up, i'm the last person who's going to be seen doing that. I just know that all of my over-thinking, and effort to be a person i'm proud of isn't going to waste. I am trying.
         I never know if i'm not giving myself enough credit; or if I shouldn't be giving myself any credit at all...